Triggers.

I trigger easily.

I'm not a big yeller, but I still trigger.

I'm irritated with Ryan. The kids overwhelm me. I feel myself shut down. I want to hide. To run away.

I want to do better. I wake up with resolve. With intention.

But I keep repeating the same dumb patterns.

Turns out, I've got a heck of a lot less willpower than I thought.

Maybe there's enough for a day. A really great run is a week. Usually it's melted away by the first meltdown after breakfast.

But what if there was a secret super power? What if more willpower wasn't the answer?

I finally learned that the reason I'm triggering wasn't a lack of self-control.

And it definitely wasn't because I'm a bad person.

I was just stuck in a nervous system state! 

My body just gets stuck in fight or flight, that's all.

In the mornings now, you'll find me on my yoga mat. Instead of mustering up more willpower, I'm training my nervous system.

I'm training myself to flow into fight or flight, and then flow back out of it. I'm building resilience. I'm inviting my body into calm.

I'm also resetting my HRV.

HR-What?! 

It's a fancy term (Heart Rate Variability) that measures the flexibility of our nervous system. It's our capacity to move from fight-or-flight back into our calm, centered place.

So I breathe.

Yup, that's it. I'm doing a ten-week resonant-frequency-breathing challenge to reset my nervous system with just one tool: Breath.