What is the Secret Longing that Addiction Carries?

Addiction is an elixir, the over-the counter sort. Ready to help treat your pain. Do not shame it—it's always been there to help.

Each one of us carries addictions. Patterns. Coping mechanisms. We drink from the well of addiction to different degrees at different times, largely in proportion to the burden we carry.

They say that connection is the antidote to addiction.

But what is meant by "connection?"

What if the real connection desired is—

intimacy.

To know and to be known.

Pause for a moment and look within yourself.

There's a strong lady inside. And she's tired. She's been with you all your life. She carries all your pain. Your overwhelm. The pieces that are ready to split in half. The pieces that are strong but they're cracking. The pieces that have held it all together but they don't know how much longer they can hold on.

And she carries your addiction. This is her go-to elixir to help you with your pain.

Can you pause for a moment to notice this lady? She's been working hard for you.

What is this lady's name?

You pull up a chair for her and sit together at your table.

She tells you her name.

Her name is "Desire."

Desire?

Yes, Desire.

Then you begin to wonder. So you ask, "What is it that you Desire?"

She tells you the truth: she Desires Intimacy.

But she is afraid.

Intimacy, you see, is a Goddess who lives on the other side of the river. A river filled with danger—crocodiles and cobras. Many have died in its flow. This is death is called emotional trauma.

You see, approaching the Goddess of Intimacy requires vulnerability. Being honest about our pain. And our pain is always a vulnerable place. The danger in the river is judgment, blame, shaming... alienation.

Desire wonders... is it worth the risk?

But her desire for the Goddess of Intimacy... it never ends.

She takes the plunge.

The only one who can clear the river of danger is the Goddess of Intimacy herself. How does she clear the river?

By healing her trauma. Her projections. Her defense mechanisms. And when trauma is healed...

The river flows with pure love.

Desire takes the plunge. Her pain slips out of her hands. Then her addictions.

The goddess of Intimacy plunges in from her riverbank.

They meet in the middle, Intimacy being the stronger one to bring desire to the other shore.

Where are pain and addiction now? Swept away in the current of love.

The two lovers begin to dance.

And in the delight, something new, something magical is born.

What might it be?

Sensuality.

Ahhh, yes, sensuality! Sexuality's close cousin.

But they are not the same.

Sensuality, you see, is a currency. It's the currency of pure energy. Sensuality knows that sometimes when we feel depleted, she is the energy that could fuel us for a millennia.

She is a currency that can buy sexuality.

But be careful: Some sexual expression is an experience of consumption. Once the money is spent, darkness will be given in return.

Other sexual expression is regenerative. Money thus spent will be restored with more besides.

But what else can be purchased in the marketplace?

Creativity.

Compassion.

Purpose.

Fun.

All of which are regenerative. Gifts that keep on giving.

What would it feel like to take the plunge...

To take the risk...

And meet the Goddess of Intimacy halfway?